#85

My heart pounds.

It yearns for the Sun.

Should I allow it to get close?

The magma will create a crysalid with it inside.

The plasma could quickly silence its beats.

The magma is filling the gaps.

The Sun feels warm.

Its sunbeams knock softly on the empty void.

This feeling...

I'm closing my eyes drinking its light with my skin and my mind.

The Sun feels dangerous.

I love the sensation.

Should I keep it?

Should I introduce the Sun on my chest?

Should I trust the Sun to be my friend?

Its magma can hurt me.

...

...

...

I want the Sun to be my friend.

The Sun is warm.

I deserve a crysalid again.

This terrifying feeling.

(Once more)

This terrifying feeling is warm.

#84 - I like to think I can twist the words (and poison them)

I love to twist the words,
whispering them what I want them to say.
They obey, mostly they do,
but I still have so much to learn.
(I love making them scream)

I feel like a hivemind,
thinking what I want to say
and seeing it appear almost magically in front of me.
(I read them several times just in case I can subtract them another limb)

But sometimes it does not work out.
Some words escape, slippering through the threads of my mind.
When that happens i just wait
for them to lower their guard.
(When that happens I wait to poison them after)

As in here, right now,
exhausted by the weight of the day,
I am coloring so many emotions
searching for answers inside.
(So I end up vomiting the poisoned blood on the screen)

#83

I want to paint you in the back of my mind,
blooming one atom at a time.
I'll be watching you form yourself slowly,
waiting to finally see you alive.

I want to sculpt you in the back of my head
with the slices of my heart that I have reserved for you.
Then we could watch together the stars of my eyes explode,

and I would tell you the stories of my past supernovas.

We could leave some words unsaid
so we can get back to them later
and see each other again.
I am already thinking what will I wear.

My friend, I yearn for your voice,
for your company and your secrets.
It has been a while since you came to the garden,
and I can't wait to see your existance.

My friend, please, come near.
You have been everything I needed again to hear.
You have been everything I needed to heal.

#82

I will be empty
When no one is around.
Paint me,
As I will be colorless.
Sculpt me,
As I won't have depth.
I'll be the shell of the human
that once lived in.
I won't protest,
I won't express,
I will be empty, white, plain and free.

#81

El sol se apaga de repente
quedándose frío e inerte.
Me quedo atónita, observando la catástrofe,
porque no entiendo nada.

A mi alrededor
las personas están aterradas.

Me devuelven la mirada,
heridas,

buscando culpables,
pero yo no entiendo nada.

El sol se deshace
como si nunca hubiera existido
y yo no entiendo nada.

Las palabras, los momentos
y el amor los succiona rápidamente la supernova.

Todo esto pasa en unos instantes,

y sigo sin entender nada.

La nebulosa se queda grabada en mi piel, abriendo paso al agujero negro que se lo traga todo.

Silencio eterno.
Oscuridad infinita.

El sol ya no está,
pero las miradas me siguen castigando.

Estoy cansada; me sujeto el pecho con la mano,

arrullando los tambores,

porque cuando pienso en la supernova

no entiendo nada.

#80

Whenever I feel trapped in my skin
I cut it open with a knife to be free.

What shall be done will be done,
and I shall bleed.

When I feel quiet in my head
I crawl and create new threads.

This Earth is too big to share,
too shallow, too deep.
I am wounded,
when I exhale
will anyone stay near?

What shall be done will be done,
and I shall bleed.

When I can't lull my mind
I climb up the mountain, so high
And I stay still, silenced, heart on my fist
so they can't feel me.

It's okay,
If someone has to be alone
Then I can be.

What shall be done will be done,
And I shall bleed.

They look at me with those eyes,
seeking too much.

What shall be done will be done.

If I can be anything,
I want to be as complex as an atom, or a star.

What shall be done will be done,
and I shall bleed.

It's okay,
If someone has to be alone
Then I can be.

#79

It came to my mind:
people are lonely...
People are lonely.

I just came to realize
that people are lonely
inside their hearts. 

Who am I to judge
If I feel empty inside too?

It came to my mind that...

We all feel lonely inside,
but we pretend we are fine.
We keep saying we are okay
but I know that's a lie.

A lie to ourselves,
our deepest desire.
But our heart longs
to feel someone's fire.

Although it doesn't matter
whether we share bed
with our lover;
inside our heads
we are still lonely.

We should get together,
we should all group up.
Feel the warmth of each other,
the entire humanity in a hug.

Maybe then our hearts will unite,
rib cages beating at the same time.
Maybe only dancing to their rhythm,
as one,
we can transform that lie.